Serek's job hunt

Like many students in The Warsaw, Serek has been looking for a job in order to pay for his next term's study fees. Languidly leafing through the pages of Gazeta Wyborcza, he came across an ad that looked interesting.

Vacancy for Madman shouting from a fourth floor balcony
Central location, flexible hours and immediate start.

Well, you'd be a fool not to go for it and being smarter than the average woodencat, Serek applied.

He caught a 24 tram to Plac Zawiszy and then walked 100 metres along to where the flat was situated. He took the lift to the fifth floor and then walked down a flight - just in case an ambush had been planned. (that's how smart he is!)

He rang the bell of the apartment and an unshaven man with no shirt came to the door and beckoned him in.

'Please, make yourself at home. A lemon tea perhaps?'

Serek was puzzled and suspicious. 'I hope you don't mind me saying but you don't seem very mad - quite sane in fact.'

'What? Are you crazy!' The Madman snapped. 'Of course I'm not mad. It's just an act. I did it once for a joke and then for a while, I enjoyed it but I've been doing it for 20 years now and it's become a real burden. People congregate at the tram stop below; some shout back, some laugh, some look away in embarrassment but they've all come to expect it and I'm tired. My brother has a summer house up near the lakes and has invited me to stay. Maybe I won't come back at all - so I need a replacement. What do you say?'

Serek was cautious and gave a rather quizzical look like Ron Mael from Sparks and then declared:

'Serek: Second Officer; 4279!'

'Ah, you've a fine set of lungs but can you shout really loud, like 97 units of insanity? At rush hour, there's a lot of traffic and noise and there's no point being a madman shouting from the fourth floor of a balcony if no one can hear you.'

'Serek: Second Officer; 4279!'

(At this point, I should explain that Serek believes that he is a Polish pilot in the World War 2 RAF and is under interrogation - permanently. 303 Squadron of course!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No._303_Polish_Fighter_Squadron

'Yes. It's a nice act but I'm still worried about the volume.'

'Serek: Second Officer; 4279!'

'OK, OK, you can have the job. Call by tomorrow morning. Right now I need to go. Tram Number 9's just pulled in and I always like to put on a good show for them.'

He got up and walked out onto the balcony.

'Vermin! Sod-beetles! Cattle knacker ear wipes. Going going gong bong Evonne Goolagong!'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evonne_Goolagong

He popped his head back through the door and said.

'Close the door on your way out. I'll call you next week.'

Serek returned, looking a little despondent.

'Well? How did it go?' I asked

He took a breathe and for a moment, I thought he was about to speak but then he just gave a rather quizzical look like Ron Mael from Sparks.



Today is: Handle Day and Peach Halves in Syrup Day.

Last blog's conundrum answer: 97 (If you answered sausage, you must really be mad - it's not even a number!)

Today's Woodencat Conundrum is:

When you're not yourself, who are you?