Cat News

Here is the news


Cat police tune in, but not to Police Station

Last week, I lost my mind. I reported it to the Cat Police but of course, they did nothing. I think they don’t do anything but sit on their dormant derrieres in the Cat mobile, listening to Radio Daft. Quite Fredly, cat policing has gone to the dogs and I shall be speaking to my MEP (Member of the European Purrlement) about it.



Scoop for Meow, fish for everyone else

Our celebrity couple, Marek and Dorota have announced their wedding date as 11th of July to coincide with the birthday of Jussi 69, their favourite Finnish drummer. They’ve sold their story to Meow Magazine for an undisclosed some of sardines.



Return of the God Hamster

Now for some very worrying news. Lady of the House reported seeing a Giant Hamster cage being moved in next door. Yes, it looks like the Hamster Mafia are back and it’s The God Hamster all over again. They’ve a particularly ugly scam going on at the moment selling lawn mowers to people in apartments. The old, naïve and gullible are suckered into buying a swanky, all singing, all dancing lawn mower. By the time they realise they don’t have a lawn, it’s too late and their life savings are already on their way to Oswaldtwistle.

Cat lovers turn ugly

Complaints. Some of our readers have complained that this isn’t a catblog at all as there are barely any real cats in it and the stories don’t appeal to genuine cat lovers. Ohhh get you! Scratch your eyes out!
As the editor, I have to remain resilient, stick to my principles and not panda bear to the lowest sugared mice tastes. Still, no point in antagonising your audience, so here are some cute little kittens. Ahh.





Next week: Recipes

Roast kitten with mice in a spicy lizard sauce (Yumski - my favourite)


Name day

Toodle pip

Claude Makalele